The conclusion…
Following a classic trope of the original series of Star Trek, my character, Captain Riale Chai of the USS Jemison has been separated into two personality types. The bolder, aggressive, and decisive Captain took a bad turn when her crew began to question her motivations and took measures to suppress their actions against her. More on that later.
In this session, we also saw what happened to the calmer, more steady version of Captain Chai, who’d been transported secretly to a holodeck simulation and left there to stew until one of the crew unlocked the security on that program and found her. Things did not go well for the mild mannered Captain afterwards. Being mistaken for her unruly counterpart, she was stunned by the understandably upset first officer, who had been previously shot in the back with a phaser and hidden in some futuristic utility closet by the other Chai.
Behind the scenes, while playing the two separate personalities of my character, I had to grab onto something recognizable from her previous sessions, that would be the icon of how I saw each side of her. Her confidence seemed tied into her cool and collected behavior, while her ability to read a situation and react quickly went to the side that had a high survival instinct. I can say this all out now, with a lot more clarity of mind than when I was in the moment playing each side. My fellow players, in the end, all seemed to enjoy the experience of the session. We wrapped up the plot by having the two sides of Chai confront each other. The spotlight on me felt amplified as I tried to reconcile each side.
This was a different feeling than when I’ve been in the game master’s seat. Although I would not consider my games particularly hard, they do not shirk dangerous or deadly challenges, as some of my recent players can attest to. The difference, I think, is the team dynamic that I strive to when I get to be on the player side. Dividing myself from the rest of the players, and especially not taking it personally when they were determined to go after my character, that was harder than I figured it would be.
Opting not to draw the matter out too much, the game had gone late into the night as it was, the Captains Chai were able to reach an understanding and the rest of the crew corrected the situation with the classic transporter use to reverse the problem it had created. In the aftermath of this very in depth character adventure, I have a few things to revise on my character sheet. So much was learned, as a player and I think this has greatly affected how my character perceives her crew, which will be interesting to explore.
This kind of play, the darker side of being evil and against your own party, is not something that I will be in a hurry to repeat. It was tense, and challenging, and the payoff for the experience was worthwhile. The biggest thing I learned though, was that as a player, I get the most enjoyment from supporting and having the support of my teammates.
